


choke

by reaching_my_summit



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, POV Andrew Minyard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 09:14:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17077511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reaching_my_summit/pseuds/reaching_my_summit
Summary: "thank you. you were amazing."then he was gone.---or, the riot from andrew's point of view.





	choke

_thank you. you were amazing._

what the fuck was that supposed to mean?

andrew felt that slow burn low in his stomach and pushed it away.

he knew that something was wrong.

he just did not want to believe it.

they were called to line up, so andrew went to grab his things and followed his team to the parking lot. he pushed allison aside in order to catch up to neil. the air felt wrong around him. it was like there was static pulling at every hair on his body. the electricity sank into his skin and slithered through his veins. he tensed. something was wrong.

he reached for neil's wrist and heard aaron curse.

something was wrong.

broken glass. another shout. an elbow to his fucking eye.

this was too perfect.

something was wrong.

**_aaron! get the fuck over here!_ **

he was not sure he recognized his own voice.

harsh blows found bodies until he found his brother.

aaron, first. then nicky. then kevin.

a well-placed kick from nicky sent renee's attacker to the ground. renee could defend herself. nicky had to go.

**_aaron. nicky. bus, now. do not fucking argue. go._ **

the metallic twinge of blood filled his mouth. oh, that was unpleasant, but nothing he was not used to. andrew had spent much too long biting his tongue for the sake of other people.

in his peripheral vision, andrew saw a girl with her arm drawn back and fingers curled into a fist. he took her by the ponytail and pulled. she hit the pavement with an audible  _crack._

_we got kevin, andrew, he's with wymack! find neil!_

andrew minyard had turned his head long enough for neil josten to disappear.

it was just fucking  _cruel_ that neil would say something like that.andrew went his entire life without hearing that kind of sincerity. no one had ever seen all of andrew and still thought he was worth anything. neil josten thought he was... _fuck, he could not process that right now._   _find neil._

neil's name on his tongue was desire turned desperation.

auburn hair. ice blue eyes. 

_running. he had to be running._

a cooler landed near andrew's feet. ice and beer spilled onto split concrete. frozen. losing control.

**_no._ **

bodies on the pavement.  _not his blood._ a scream from the crowd.  _not his voice._

_andrew, get to the fucking bus!_

not without neil.

 _never_ without neil. 

the rioters ran out of things to throw and the energy to land more punches.

purple knuckles, black eyes.

**_out of my fucking way._ **

an orange bag.

**_no. no, no, no._ **

a gray phone.

**_no. no. fuck you, josten. you cannot say that and leave._**

andrew flipped it open. one message. a countdown.

_**zero.** _

he saw red.

 

the bus pulled up next to the sidewalk.

andrew let the duffel fall from his grip.

_andrew, wymack is calling all the hospitals. get on the bus, please._

oh, no. not that word. not fucking now.

_matt is getting his bag. andrew, get on the bus. we don't know if things will start up again. standing there won't help us find him._

_**stop** **.**_ stop. please, just stop.

neil cannot leave like this. he cannot have been something only to leave andrew with nothing  _again._ it was all a matter of time. he should have known that neil josten was a fucking liar, just like everyone fucking else. no one ever meant anything they fucking said. andrew fucked up every good thing he ever had because he cared  _so god damned much._ he killed tilda and lost aaron. he saved nicky and lost himself. all andrew wanted was _love_ and a _home_ and  _security_ and people still had the nerve to call him a  _monster._

he told neil to stay, but neil was a fucking pipe dream.  

andrew pocketed neil's phone and walked onto the bus without meeting anyone's eyes.

he sat in the very back and tore at each of his fingernails until he made it down to the quick.

where is he? where is he? where the  _fuck_ is he? 

_coach, all of neil's gear is still in his bag. nothing stolen._

still in his bag.

neil would not have left his bag if he was trying to run. 

neil had asked andrew to revoke his protection.

neil knew that something was wrong.

andrew's ears started ringing.

he clapped a hand over his mouth before he could retch.

 

andrew shakily chain-smoked half a pack of cigarettes as he paced around the balcony. he had not been able to talk to anyone yet. he put out the last one on the railing and flicked the butt to the ground below. he watched it catch on the wind as it descended and briefly wondered how long it would take him to fall.

he pushed the motel room's curtains aside as he ducked back inside. kevin's eyes widened at the sight of him.

oh, how interesting.

kevin knew.

kevin fucking _knew._

he knew and he did not tell andrew. he knew and he did not try to help. he knew, and like the fucking coward he was, he let it happen. he had made andrew a fucking  _promise._ in exchange for protection, he would find andrew something to live for. as laughable as it was, andrew found that something in absolutely nothing. in neil fucking josten. 

andrew does not deal in broken promises.

**_where is he?_ **

kevin looked away.

**_kevin, i_ _asked you a question._ **

silence.

**_i will not ask again._ **

kevin shrugged pathetically.

andrew tackled kevin to the ground and wrapped his hands around kevin's throat. he submitted to his lapse in self-control with no reservations and squeezed until he knew that he would bruise. he remembered having these holds around his own throat. they always knew what wouldn't leave marks. 

andrew wanted kevin to know exactly what he brought upon himself.

if neil were lying somewhere, battered and beaten and broken or _dead_ , andrew would _kill_  kevin day.

**_WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?_**

_andrew! andrew, let go of me!_

**_ANSWER ME OR I WILL BREAK YOUR OTHER FUCKING HAND!_ **

_he can't answer you if you're choking him!_

**_oh, you know where he is, kevin day. you know. YOU KNOW._ **

_he's dead, andrew, he's--his father, he--_

six hands.

oh, that was more than ever.

six hands were touching him, trying to pull him off kevin.

one on his right forearm, one on his left bicep. two under his arms. two around his waist. all biting, all  _malicious._

not today. no. not fucking today.

**_do not fucking touch me. get your fucking hands off me._**

_not until you let him go, andrew!_

**_it was not a request. it was a fucking command._ **

_andrew, please--_

oh, renee. she knew. she knew better, too.

andrew went limp and allowed himself to be thrown aside just so the hands would leave him.

 

his name is nathaniel wesninski. he is the son of the butcher of baltimore. his father is closely tied to the moriyama family. nathaniel was meant to be number three. there is no way. there is no way he is alive. his father will kill him. he has no chance. he never did.

  

andrew thought he knew what emptiness was. emptiness was being seven years old, sitting in a bath and hoping the scalding water would distract him from the pain. emptiness was being ten years old, kicked out of another foster home once  _a real child_ was finally on the way. emptiness was being twelve years old and having a mother that never asked about the blood on the towels or how often he washed his sheets. emptiness was forging armor by introducing metal to his skin. emptiness was realizing that after all of the fear and the bruises and the disgust, he was fucking  _queer._

andrew had aaron, as rocky as that relationship and those promises were. andrew had nicky, with his unfailing love and support. andrew had wymack, ever understanding. andrew had bee, always kind.

then andrew met neil josten.

neil never pitied andrew. he never apologized. he listened. he did not ask  _why._

he always met andrew halfway.

when they were together, andrew felt _seen._

emptiness was realizing that the one person who truly  _saw_ him would never be seen again.

 

_thank you. you were amazing._

andrew sat on the curb outside, choking on every awful noise he made until he could not tell the difference between his tears and the rain.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> had to balance out my disney fic with utter pain sorry
> 
> italicized and bolded lettering -- what andrew says out loud  
> italicized lettering -- emphasis or the words of others


End file.
